If you’re in the middle of wedding planning, you’ve probably seen engagement sessions offered by nearly every photographer — sometimes even baked into the package by default. But here’s a little truth I’ve learned over the years:
Just because it’s included, doesn’t mean you have to do it.
In fact, I believe the best engagement sessions are the ones chosen intentionally, not automatically.
The Real Purpose of an Engagement Session
Forget the Pinterest checklists for a second. At its core, an engagement session is about more than just save-the-date photos or a pre-wedding warm-up. Done with intention, it’s a chance to:
- Document this unique chapter before it slips past
- Celebrate the everyday love between the two of you
- Practice feeling comfortable in front of the lens (without the pressure of a timeline)
- Get photos that reflect you beyond wedding day styling
But here’s the thing: if none of that sounds like something you want or need? That’s okay. You don’t need a session just because your photographer includes one, or because your cousin did hers at sunset in the mountains.
When It Makes Sense (And When It Doesn’t)
Engagement sessions make sense when…
- You want to capture a quieter part of your story
- You’re camera shy and want to ease into the experience
- You’re drawn to the idea of preserving this season of life (beyond the wedding)
They might not be for you if…
- You feel like you’re forcing it
- You’re planning a destination wedding and won’t be in town
- You’d rather document another part of your weekend (like a welcome dinner or intimate moment with family)
There’s no right or wrong answer — there’s just what feels aligned.
Destination Couples: What to Consider
If you’re planning a wedding in France or NYC (or anywhere abroad), we may not be in the same city ahead of the big day. And that’s okay too.
In those cases, I often suggest allocating that same time to something else: like rehearsal dinner coverage or an unhurried morning-after session. These moments are just as rich — if not more so — because they reflect your story, not someone else’s formula.
Make It Yours (Or Skip It Entirely)
Your engagement session doesn’t need to look like a styled shoot in a gown on a cliffside — unless that’s your thing. It could be:
- A walk through your neighborhood
- A cozy session at home
- A sunrise by the river
- A quiet corner of a coffee shop where you had your first date
And if none of those speak to you? That’s your answer.
The point isn’t to mimic what others have done — it’s to choose something that reflects you.
Why I Don’t Automatically Include Engagement Sessions
There’s a reason I don’t include engagement sessions in my collections by default. I believe everything we photograph together should matter — not just be part of a checklist. When something is given space and intention, it shows. That’s true for wedding days, portraits, and everything in between.
If it makes sense, we’ll plan something meaningful. And if not? We won’t force it.
Simple as that.
Final Thought: Let It Be Personal
This isn’t about checking a box. It’s about creating something that matters — to you.
Whether you book an engagement session or not, what’s most important is that every photo we take feels honest, intentional, and uniquely yours. If that means skipping the session and capturing the people you love at your welcome dinner instead? Let’s do that.
There are many ways to tell your story — and they don’t all have to look the same.
Ready to learn more about what an intentional engagement session could look like for you?
Whether you’re leaning yes or still unsure, I’ve shared more about my process, what’s included, and how to book a session when the time feels right.
